your racist uncle just bathed in dragons blood, rendering his flesh impenetrable by blade or bullet. luckily some divine force, call it entropy, pulled a leaf from its branch and let it rest on your uncles shoulder blade as he was bathing. you know what to do. find this spot, and drive the electronic turkey carver through it. it is your destiny
"who said that" is a powerful spell that casts a defensive bubble around your most vulnerable thoughts
What if you were watching porn that seemed totally normal and then at the end it hit you with this
oh so we're doing scooby doo crimes now
My favorite part of this is how they had someone from Fish and Wildlife review the footage and "also opined it was clearly a human in a bear suit."
let me tell you driving from Ohio to Washington in a SmartCar with everything I owned was funny enough on its own but once I got west of the Rockies, every. single. time. I stopped ar a gas station, random dads would just spawn beside my car. like there was some sort of dad portal following me. and they’d see my ohio plates and go, “did you DRIVE through the mountains in that?” and every. single. time. I’d go, “well, they didn’t airlift me!”
it killed. it absolutely cleared ever time. never failed to make the dads laugh. they were obsessed. i said it the same every time. it was like I was in a groundhog day timeloop on interstate 70 westbound gas stations. and you know what? I was happy.
As per my last clay tablet,
CCing Ibbi-Ilabrat on this one just to make sure we’re all on the same page!
well the eagle eats my liver every day around 3pm, but otherwise i can meet when it best suits your schedule!
scantily is basically the most classic way to be clad
How quickly we forget the noble and impenetrable iron
women & bitches love my cavern
Can you shut up about your cavern
Dog where the fuck am I
